The Simonscans Porn Blog

Whats that furry thing peaking out from under her dress? Could it be? Yes! Its real hair or maybe a pet hamster? Its been so long since anyone had any its hard to say.

You’ll either think this is utterly gross or really, really cool. But I present here, for your entertainment, Jorja’s amazing butthole. It’s todays update and shows despite all the prettiness we still find time for a bit of filth. Lots of sites manage to consistently get extreme stuff from girls, but often suffer from the girls not looking that happy. In this case, its Jorjas trick, she does it cause she can, and cause she likes it. 

Oh, how I miss the summer!

I’m home from Ibiza after a long day travelling. Despite organising a late checkout from the villa, guess what? The bloody cleaners turn up at 9am and get all huffy we’ve not packed and gone. So its all a general race around with everyone packing up lights and stuffing dildos and underwear in to suitcases, whilst gluging coffee and eating Cheerios with nasty UHT milk. Working in porn is fun, but not today. I do not like early starts, least of all stressed ones.
Anyway, we get to the airport and eventually find the lost model and assistant relaxing quite happily miles away from either the agreed meeting point, or the check-in for the flight. A frank exchange of opinions follows…

So now its time for the real task of the day: The excess baggage lottery. Getting a huge pile of gear and, errr, other equipment past check-in as quickly and as cheaply as possible is a lottery, with many factors at play. How many in the group, how many bags and the mood of the check in person being just the basics. As ever, we’re miles over. But this is where fate throws me a bone. For the second time this trip the checkout girl cannot do simple addition. Somehow, and don’t ask me how, she manages to add up the weight of nine cases, each of them weighing over 10kgs and four being over 20kgs each, and come up with a total of just 84kgs. She then charges us for only 14kgs. Astounding. We saved in the region of £300 on the basis that the budget airline was too tight to hire anyone with any maths or buy the existing staff a calculator. Thus was my mood was changed and general perkiness resumed. :)
Thats enough boring stuff, I’ll be back in the office on Monday and will post more samples from the trip, most likely of Clarice, plus the first full set from the trip in Mondays update.

Being away shooting isn’t all fun. Not keeping up to date with the news is one of my main bitches, so I was very sad to hear about Richard Hammond having a bad day at the office today and crashing his rocket powered car at 280 miles per hour. Who ever would have suspected such a thing was possible, and certainly nothing could have been done to prevent it. If on the other hand you think driving too fast isn’t cool and exciting, switch of the PC and go back to reading The Guardian, there’s nothing for a boring twerp like you to see here. Porn and fast cars are a choice grown-ups get to make. This one is going out to Richard, even if Brainiac can be a bit sucky, and having your teeth whitened is so gay. Whatever, everyone at Simonscans wishes him a speedy recovery. (And he only has to ask if he’d like a password!)

Jorja by a wall, being a bit arty and boring.

Jorja not being boring sticking stuff up her butt. 

OK, I can finally own up - we’re away shooting again in Ibiza. And as ever, its a rollercoaster ride of un-expected sucesses and random failure. Lets start with the good stuff. The villa is great, huge, very quiet, with lots of very photogenic aspects to it. From the lovely rustic barn seen here, through to a pool with startlingly bright underwater lighting - normally, its not quite enough to shoot by, but this pool, lights up the countryside its so bright and is therefore perfect for shoots.

Also a change from previous trips, we’re flying out all the models. Sorry guys, no local talent from the island at all this year. We took the decision to import girls as reliablity seemed more of a priority than previous years. The clubbing and partying girls usually found on the island, while often extremely hot, aren’t always that reliable - theres always one more after party to check out, and before they know it, its midday and they’re late for a shoot having still not been to bed. So I was really dissappointed when one of our favourite, and usually most reliable girls did not turn up for her flight yesterday evening. We waited and waited, two long and very boring hours at the airport till we finally gave up around 1am. Sitting around waiting is a real mix of emotions. On the hand you’re bored and pissed off; you know you’ve almost certainly been let down, but on the other, you’re just worried that something has happened and the poor thing is sitting on a suitcase somewhere crying.

So what do we do today is the big question? the likely answer is, to write a bit of blog, chase down some standby girls, and then go scope out some new locations in the car.

Holly, has been a facourite on the site for litterally years, when she popped back up again recently it seemed like a damn fine idea to bring her away to Ibiza. I think she had visions of ending up somewhere more glamourous than a dusty old barn, standing next too a bag of cement! 

I’m gradually getting jobs done and the site updated a bit - Today I’ve added a load more images to the splash page scroller thing here on the front page. Its worth a look as its a pretty good preview of whats to come over the next few months, theres samples from sets that won’t appear for ages.

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Am I mad? I’ve booked to go back to Ibiza next week for one more trip. Next week really is the end of the summer season - in fact a lot of people have gone already, but theres a couple of new girls to shoot and some reshoots of girls from earlier in the season. Hopefully the island will be a lot quieter this time around, getting from location to location on the last trip took hours due to traffic. 40 mins to do 6 miles!

Ok, Ibiza has started officially which means - One new girl per update for the rest of the month and Ibiza updates from now until the new year. happy now?

Happy or not you now also have a new way to contact me. On the top of every models series page in the members area is now a “Feedback” email link. Click on the link and it’ll launch your regular email client with the subject line already pre-filled. Please don’t delete whats already in the subject line though you can add to it if you wish. That way my mail filters will make sure the feedback gets sent to the correct folder when I receive it.  

I’ve just been making TGP pages and couldn’t resist linking to this one. Introducing Luba, who I think may just be the star of this years ibiza girls. I have to totally admit I got as near to blowing this as its possible to do. Peter, one of my model scouts on the island had met up with her very early on in the season and sent me a pretty duff pic so I was all,. like, you know, blah about her. He totally failed to mention, Oh BTW Simon shes fucking gorgeous and you’d be a total looser not to get over here right now and shoot her. So I sat in the UK for another 3 WEEKS!!!! waiting for some “good” girls to turn up - even at SleazyJet prices its not worth the trip for less than 3-4 girls! Anyway, I left it so long to fly out I shot her the day before she left for home. She’s never modelled before, claims she has no interest in doing it agin - even though it was fun, so these 5 sets are very likely to be the only ones ever. And I nearly missed it.