Let's all give Evelyn a round of applause for she is on her 9th series. The good looking brunette is up against a big black dildo on this series. She had played with one of our black dildoes before in her third series, but this time our dildo is bigger, fatter, and meaner. It's rude Evelyn versus the mean black dildo. Can her pussy overcome this extreme sex toy? Click Here
Jennifer is back for her second series and this time she is going to show you how creamy her pussy is. Yup, she started off with nothing at all. Pure flesh and pink parts only. She squatted on the sink for you to have a great view of her creamy pussy which is going to be further creamed by a big fat black dildo. Click Here
The outdoor girl is back in her sexy peach two piece bikini. She is just enjoying the cool breeze , the sound of birds chirping, the nice lush green vegetation, and Simonscans big fat dildo. She and her tight pussy really enjoyed the morning. And so did we. Now it's time for you to enjoy. Click Here
One of the most popular, and in fact, most complained about features of Simonscans is the voting system. And just like Tony Blair and the EU, as we didn’t like the result we were getting, we’ve changed the system.The main preoblem was that once a model got a large number of votes it really didn’t matter what the subsequent votes were - it couldn’t change her rating, so we’ve adjusted the system so that number of votes is still stored, but now the rating she gets is more fluid. You’ll find now that when you vote, things actually change in the direction you voted for, and noticably so, again most unlike all things Blairish.
Another problem, and the one that triggered the tweaks in the first place was vote rigging. Under the old system, someone took the time to attempt to rig the voting with crazy numbers of multiple votes, we think we have now made this much more difficult. (It would be fatal to ever say impossible as that would just encourage the fraudsters!) But, you now have to be much more careful with your vote, as you only get one per day, per model.
The voting system really does provide us with useful feedback - its sometimes hard for us here, working in porn day after day to have any perspective of what you the members really like, unlike a lot of other sites we shoot quite a range of levels and different types of girls. So does a really hot girl who’s sets are a bit soft count for as much as a not so hot girl who can smuggle large root vegetables, two at a time? Some days we just don’t know any more, so your feedback helps us work it out. Brutal as it may seem, and the aspect that upsets some members, high rated girls come back, low rated ones don’t.
I guess it all went quiet for a week or so, with no updates on the blog to speak of. Pretty much as usual two things happened. We got snowed under with girls and internet got hard to find, thus making blogging a lot harder. The last two weeks has been fairly hellish. Day one of a two week trip, my main camera died - well, not entirely dead, its just wouldn’t focus in the right place, being a few inches out. (And as we all knowing its the inches in porn that make soooo much difference!) Also the first venue turned out to be total crap - really small and no working internet at all.
At the end of the first days shooting I had exactly 4 sets, half a camera and a third of a location. Not good, so something needed to be done, and quickly. trips are like a sinking boat at the best of times. You’re bailing water the entire time, trying to stop the boat sinking, if you stop, its almost impossible to catch up. On a trip, its like that with expenses. Stop shooting and they continue to pile up, but you have nothing to show for it, and no way to regain the loses. After a frantic few hours on the phone and internet I found a new place to move to, really nice and internet. Of course it still wasn’t ideal. Wrong side of the island and only available for 3 days, but it was a start.
So off we headed to the other side of the island, and unpacked, then off to Ibiza town to pick up the first real model - Molly (the girl on the poolside) - She had come in on the ferry from the mainland, and I’d hyped her in my head to be one of the highlights of the trip. At this point I really needed something to go right or I’d be going a wee bit Gordon Ramsey. The following morning, when we started shooting I finally got to smile for the first time in three days, she was great; Skinny and rude. She’ll be going up in the next available update. Because of the ferry times and all the buggering around we didn’t shoot wuite as much as I’d hoped, but its still way over 10 sets (I’m guessing here.)
Once she’d been packed of back on the boat, it was time to start the REAL Ibiza girls. If you’re new around here, you’ll probably wonder what a “real” Ibiza girl is. Simple, its a brand new girl, found on the island, shot on the island, usually never seen before elsewhere, and then often never seen again after the end of the season. In essence the holy grail of amateur porn. Real girls, looking great, seen once and then never seen again. Now, here in lies a problem. Ibiza is a small island and its gossipy. On the one hand it makes finding more girls relatively easy, on the other hand it means, too much content from Ibiza too early in the season becomes a bad thing - the girls get found out and its puts off others from having a go. Its like a very small village populated by nothing other than gossipy teenagers, they work together and play together, all day every day. So, for now, I’m going to just tease and show cryptic pics and reveal a few stats. Seven new girls. All total newbies to porn, pics to follow as I go through and output them to websize.
Week two was when things really got into gear. Jenna flew in from the UK. Clearly, from the pics you’ve seen already she’s set to be a star. Those boobs are real and 30E, but its the total package that really wins, I’ve never seen such a toned body AND such large boobs, rest assured we will be making the most of her! One thing that made shooting her so damn easy was that we had finally found a great location - Can Limon - A villa in an old lemon grove - Close to town, its own pool, aircon and just a great place. For the first time in ages, we had a week of plain sailing, the results of which you will start to see very shortly. So, as the saying goes, when fate gives you lemons, make porn. And lemonade.
Wow, I’m looking pastey and pale for May. And now it’s all windy, grey and blustery again :( Here’s an early sample of today’s update!The end of April was just lovely. I abandonned the PC for a couple of days and got out and about in London. Beyond the obvious sunbathing I also discovered *the* best sweet shop so have been choc full of E-numbers ever since. They sold every candy I could think of. I’ve spent the beginning of May feeling very Hyper and fat. It was also time for tax form organising and all that number crunching dullness hence me being somewhat quiet. Hmmm. Maybe I’m not painting the most attractive picture. Me surrounded by receipts, Pocky candy and My Big bars. Well. It works for me.
I’ve not blogged in a totally direct moany way since whinging about programmers a while back. I’m pretty sure most of you come to this site for reasons other than listening to me whine, but sometimes a bit of background reality is interesting and can add some insight into how a site like this runs, and the realities of shooting porn. - And yes, anal scenes can smell of poo sometimes.
I know for sure from all the mail I get from you lot, that you think my life is an endless stream of great looking totty all fit and eager to flop em out for the lads. Well, if only it were true. For every great looking girl there’s 10 very average looking ones who really should think twice about taking there clothes of in public. Hell, some should think twice about removing there coats. Most of the time we screen the applications pretty effectively and in general we don’t don’t end up having driven 180 miles to a great location only for the girl to show up and be virtually unshootable. However, thats exactly what happened today.
Personally, she’s a lovely girl, chatty and generally pleasant to be with - which it has to be said - can’t be said of every girl I shoot. But, shes a genuine size 14, and not the hot kind with big boobs, big hips and a waist. Instead shes the Trinny and Suzanne hopeless case, big hips, no waist, no boobs - and worst still, those nipples that point down, but in a slightly boss-eyed fashion.
So what do we do? Well it falls to someone - me in fact - cause no one else will do it, to tell the poor girl shes not going to be shot cause she looks nothing like the (it now turns out) two year old photos she sent in and has gone up at least 3 dress sizes in the time between. Mostly they take it pretty well, but in the end I always end up sounding like Simon Cowell from X-factor. What on earth were you thinking? Do you really think we wouldn’t notice you’ve gained 20 Kilos since the photos you sent in? or even that you are fat, plain and simple. And much like the other Simon my justification is the same. - Go through with it and do a load of porn, you’ll look crap, and if you think I’m being harsh, wait till the girls who hated you at school find out, cause they’ll tear you to schreds.
This morning I received and email from a potential model with this pic attached. Nothing odd about that you’d think, and here’s the text of the email…hiya,
just lookin at ure website and wondered if u could use me at all????? i use the name Chantelle. i’m 20, size 8 - 10, 36B 24 36. 5ft 8 ins tall, ive worked to continental and B/G . i’ve attached a couple of pice 4 u 2 look at if they r ok what shall i do next??? hope to hear from u soon
chantellexx
ps ive got sum continental * bg pics if u need to av a look????
It all looks very plausible to the untrained eye. Except as I do this for a living I’m pretty damn hot at spotting fakes, not least because we get loads. I have no idea why doing this kind of thing might seem funny but tickles some people, thats for sure. This one is pretty amateurish and has a couple of real give aways. Firstly, I’ve already shot her and therefore know she’s Czech, not brit and certainly not called Chantelle. Doh! Just as damning though is something a bit more subtle in “her” email. Size 8-10’s are not 36B ever. Size 8’s are rare as phuck anyway and are 30/32, size 10’s are most models and 32/34 and thats it, unless of course its a bloke in a bra.
Ok, next question, shes on the site but who is she? And no, I won’t shoot her again before anyone asks.
Apologies in advance to whoever really owns this shot, gimme a clue anyone, and I’ll seek permission and give them a credit.
Maybe next time I’m here…
