The Simonscans Porn Blog

So I stuck on my bikini and braved sand in my bits for a photoshoot ;)
In other news I got an email from somewhere I often shop at and couldn’t pass up on the wishlist opportunity. I do have a wishlist but as you can see… I don’t have a *buy me stuff* page. It’s hidden randomly in the depths of my site for those of you who go looking for it. I gave up a while back and gave into creating one because some of you just kept emailing asking how to buy me stuff. Soooo if you really really must (I’d much rather you go out and treat yourself to a couple of beers… or whatever else make take your fancy than buy me a gift), then I’d much rather have something from here! ;)

Even by CZ standards Veronika is simply amazing. Errr, thats all I got. Enjoy. Actually, no. In other news I’ve just made it easy for you to comment, you no longer need to register or login. Just follow the comments link and type in whatever you have to say….

Well, not quite but pretty damn close. Certainly any closer and I’ve been well and truely in the pink in this shot. This is Sheridan, and if she hadn’t run away with a brand new dildo she’d be one of my favourite models. As it is is still hard to hate her as shes one of the few CZ models who will stick stuff up her butt.

In other news, the very fact you can read this means we’ve suceeded in moving servers with as far as we know zero down time. The new machines are a huge improvement over the old ones, not only better machines, but also connected to the interent at a better point for 99% of our surfers. Hopefully you can actually detect that the site seems quicker and that downloads are faster? feedback please!

Due to popular demand Fern is back! As you can see from the samples, its more of what we’ve come to expect from her. large toys and even bigger smiles. Its not all good news though, she now has a scar on her bum - thanks to an unfortunate accident with red hot ceramic hair straighteners. Not once, but twice. Thats right, shes blonder than she looks.

I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll probably mention it again. Why haven’t you signed up for the newsletter yet? We’re up to issue 32. (Not sure how its that many, I don’t remember making them!) The format is now pretty settled. Each weekend I pick images from about four of the best shoots that have gone up that week and create the issue. What you’ll often find, and this only really applies to non-members, is that the images in the newsletters aren’t the ones from the samples on the the regular updates page. Click on Zita and see all the online versions of past issues.

As you can see, you can both sign up and leave the newsletter. if you are worried about spam or the wrong people seeing the newsletter. Well, first off, this is my list and I don’t share it so you will only ever get emails from Simonscans. And secondly, why don’t you have a disposable email account anyway? Go get a Yahoo, Hotmail, or whatever free webmail you like and JUST use it for porn related crap?

I’m just about finished putting together this weeks newsletter mailout thing, but I’ve just had a thought. Maybe I should mention it here as its slightly unusual as all the samples this week are video clips rather than still images. Signup below and get 20 second clips from this weeeks movies. The clips are all .WMV format this time, so they’re the middle resolution offered on the site. .MOVs being 960×540 - Thats bigger than your telly! Hopefully I don’t need to add that your email address is safe here, you’ll only get mails from Simonscans, and we don’t share the info with anyone.

Being away shooting isn’t all fun. Not keeping up to date with the news is one of my main bitches, so I was very sad to hear about Richard Hammond having a bad day at the office today and crashing his rocket powered car at 280 miles per hour. Who ever would have suspected such a thing was possible, and certainly nothing could have been done to prevent it. If on the other hand you think driving too fast isn’t cool and exciting, switch of the PC and go back to reading The Guardian, there’s nothing for a boring twerp like you to see here. Porn and fast cars are a choice grown-ups get to make. This one is going out to Richard, even if Brainiac can be a bit sucky, and having your teeth whitened is so gay. Whatever, everyone at Simonscans wishes him a speedy recovery. (And he only has to ask if he’d like a password!)

Jorja by a wall, being a bit arty and boring.

Jorja not being boring sticking stuff up her butt. 

I get a lot of requests for outtakes or blooper shots to be shown on the site - so heres one from a couple of weeks ago. Jaime the poor model had a real fright as the dog appeared from nowhere - I’d seen him ambling towards the villa from where I was shooting from but with her back to the road she was blindsided completly! He wandered through the shoot, and then wandered off totally unfased by it all. Doesn’t he know who I am?

In other news now I’m back in the UK fulltime I’ve started fixing a few little glitches around the site - The members start page should now all line up correctly and the wrongly timed updates during this week shouldn’t happen again. The main remaining one I can’t fix is the Q and A - Its a job for a real programmer so its beyond my skills. Sooooo, for the next week or so, if you have any questions you can mail them directly to me and apologies for not replying sooner if you have outstanding questions I’ve not yet answered.

So many things to update since the diary pages died of, well, who knows. Some kind of PHP flu or something. Anyway, back now and all working.

Big news would be - we went to Prague to get away from cold and wintery blighty. Oh, bollocks, twas even more cold and wintery in Prague. Hehe, now I get to do a cheesey link by saying how hot the girls were! As well as shooting a bunch if fit birds - who were a real refeshing change in general - hard working and enthusiatic even if we only had two words in common - I know that “prosim” means please in Praguish and they all know what “wider” means in english. Anyhoo, between Back to back shoots I found a couple of hours to wander about the town and do some moody old school artsy black and white pics, just like in the old days when I was a starving aritste before porn took me over to the dark side :)

So Click on the erie glowing torso here to see my holiday snaps. Next weeks holiday snaps - Shots of me in shorts at Bognor